My room smells like vodka and shame
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize