Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after

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(513): View more from Ohio

Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.

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(432): View more from Texas

So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?

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(305): View more from Florida

Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down

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(325): View more from Texas

I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.

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