so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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