we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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