the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
