new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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