Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
