I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
