I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
