So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
