You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
