I wish I could punch you in the face.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
