but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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