My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
