Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
COCAINE IS GR8
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
