Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize