he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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