so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
