Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
