I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
