i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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