Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
