Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
