My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
