So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
