He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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