So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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