marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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