we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
