I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
