She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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