she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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