the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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