Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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