i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
third nipple confirmed
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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