therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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