that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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