a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
