Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.

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(905): View more from Toronto

Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.

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(909): View more from California

At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains

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(309): View more from Illinois

They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend

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(970): View more from Colorado

in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.

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(779): View more from Illinois

We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..

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(330): View more from Ohio

just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.

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(775): View more from Nevada

So much for no-infidelity-fridays....

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