she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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