and my herpes radar will keep us safe
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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