What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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