I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
nutella sex= disaster
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
