I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
