you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
