thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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