Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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