I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
