So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We are two peas in an std pod
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
