I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
