Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
