I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
