sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
