my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
