i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
