took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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