i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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