He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
