Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
