Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The air was thick with penises
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
