So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm determined to sit on that face.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
