Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry somethingclever9 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job

Fav 27 5275 872
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

Who did Billy Mays play for?

Fav 33 1000 4501
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back

Fav 13 2651 1151
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.

Fav 9 5220 1434
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.

Fav 6 3359 1343
share tweet
(952): View more from Minnesota

She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

Fav 2 1092 812
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that

Fav 6 1581 878
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!

Fav 1 88 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable

Fav 0 150 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT