Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
