my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
